Senior Funnies


Everyone needs a good laugh.  The ‘golden years’… now or later, if we’re lucky, we’ll all get there… enjoy it!

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.’
The gentleman replied, ‘Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!’


Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: ‘Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’
Slim says, ‘I feel just like a newborn baby.’
‘Really!? Like a newborn baby!?’
‘Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.’

Continue reading

It Might be Winter in Wisconsin…

Yes, it might be winter in Wisconsin… cold, snowy even dreary but I know better days… warmer… sunnier… even balmy… are around the corner.  Yeah, the corner may be a ways off but this will warm the heart with happiness and beauty…

Been a While…

TimeWow, time flies and not just when you’re having fun… sometimes just when you get caught up and keep saying tomorrow… tomorrow just never quite seems to get here… Well, now tomorrow’s here and let’s hope I can pick up from here and go on… somewhere…

What Are the Real Priorities in Life… A Lesson Taught, A Lesson to Learn

professorDo you concentrate on the real priorities in your life or let the little things take up your time… Here’s a lesson…

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll
ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff.

Continue reading

The Window

If you chance the way you see, you can change the way you think… if you don’t believe take just a minute and read this…window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room’s only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

Continue reading

The Miracle of a Mother’s Love

mothers loveWhen Carolyn put her 20 ounce baby on her chest for a cuddle, she thought that it would be the only chance she would ever have to hold her. Doctors had told the parents that baby Rachel only had only minutes to live because her heart was beating once every ten seconds and she was not breathing.

Carolyn said, “I didn’t want her to die being cold. So I lifted her out of her blanket and put her up against my skin to warm her up. Her feet were so cold. I believed that it would be the only cuddle I was going to have with her, so I wanted to remember the moment.”

Then something remarkable happened. Within seconds the warmth of her mother’s skin started Rachael’s heart beating properly, which allowed her to take little breaths of her own. No one could believe it – and neither could the doctors. She let out a tiny cry.

“The doctors came running in and reached for her – but I wasn’t letting go of her. We had her blessed by the hospital chaplain, and waited for her to slip away. But she still hung on.  And then amazingly the pink color began to return to her cheeks. She literally was turning from gray to pink before our eyes.

So much was happening since the baby was born, and the doctors had taken one look at her and said ‘no’. They didn’t even try to help her with her breathing as they said it would just prolong her dying. Everyone just gave up on her.

Carolyn had a womb infection at 24 weeks which led to her baby’s premature and birth.

“I had suffered three miscarriages before, so we didn’t think there was much hope.”

When Rachael was born she was grey and lifeless.Continue reading

Neglected Ducks Get Their First Swim


Imagine ducks that have never been in water, their natural element… then imagine trying to introduce a bunch of them to water… 

This is absolutely adorable. These ducks came from a hoarding case, and they had never been in the water before.

At first they do NOT like it and they jump out. Then one cute guy starts to enjoy it, and then a few more and soon all of the ducks are having a blast.

It’s both hilarious and also a bit sad but the ending is wonderful! This is sure to make you smile.Continue reading

Carrot, Egg or Coffee Bean… Which Are You?

 Carrot-VegetableA young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.


Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the

last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, “Tell me what do you see?”

coffee beans“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft.She then asked her to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked. “What’s the point,grandmother?”

Continue reading

Back to the Vintage Maple Rocker

Maple Rocker

Maple rocker, original finish. You can see the uneven staining and the chipped finish on the arms.

A few days ago I started on a project, a vintage maple rocker that had been painted and poorly stained.  The result was quite unattractive, then add use and abuse and the rocker needed some serious attention.  This picture gives a vague idea…

So I started by striping the finish, layers of paint, stain and poly, with a chemical stripper then sanding to try to remove the residual finish.  The legs and stretchers have decorative ribbing and the creases of the ribs as well as other areas of the rocker show some of the finish that was on the rocker before the green painted and stained finish. The original finish was either a very dark stain or paint.

Stripped Rocker, residual green paint

You can see the residual green paint left after stripping

Unfortunately, even after several days of working on the stripping, there was still quite a bit of residual paint that would have just been far too time consuming and labor intensive to completely remove.

I decided to refinish with a distressed/rustic finish rather than staining as I originally planned.  I figured I’d use a sage wash as the base, which would blend/cover the leftover green tinge from the painted finish. Then I’ll add a med-dark stain and finish with a wiping varnish.Continue reading

Doggie Delights – Three Super-Easy One Ingredient Treats

jezzieFor many of us, our “kids” have fur and paws and we want to do the best for them that we can.  We love them and pamper them and spoil them and there’s nothing wrong with that.  Dogs truly are “man’s best friend,” offering unconditional love, loyalty and devotion… 

Lately, you see recall after recall for dog treats so the safest and easiest thing to do is just to make your own.  Now, you don’t have to go to extremes and get terribly fussy, our beloved canine companions don’t really care, they just love their treats.  :)

You go into a store and dog treats are expensive and even worse, they’re usually either filled with nothing but crap or they’re from questionable sources… such as  in “Made in China” or ingredients sourced from China and you really have to wonder what you’re getting.  Horrible stories of dogs getting sick and dying after consuming something as basic as chicken jerky dog treats.  Now you don’t have to worry about that. 

And when it comes to making your own dog treats, it doesn’t get much easier than this… all you need is a dehydrator and if you don’t have that, you can even use an oven on it’s lowest setting.Continue reading